Amplified Gratitude

Snowdrops blooming in the garden today!

Sometimes angels sneak up on us and whisper profound, life changing secrets right into our hearts.   One Sunday, Pastor Peter hit me with a message so wise and helpful it took my breath away.

"The opposite of love is not hatred, but fear," Pastor Peter said. It was like he'd given me the secret handbook to life.  The opposite of happiness is not unhappiness but fear, the opposite of courage is fear, the opposite of creativity is fear.

Fear is the one trump card the Crazy Old Lady who lives in our heads has.  Her whole hand is the fear card. 

Fear tells us you're no good, you're self-indulgent, you have no talent, you're embarrassing your family, you're too emotional, you are wasting your time, you are too old, too fat and too stupid....the list goes on and on.

Happiness shrugs it's shoulders and says, "Well it may all be true, but who cares?" It takes our big scary monsters and personal demons and shrinks them down to size.  

Wonderful, just great, you may be thinking. Sign me up for that happiness pill,  book, program, whatever it is because I could really use some tonic for the pile of unpaid bills, the kids fighting, all of the folks who made me mad this week, the harsh thing my sweety said last night and the pile of laundry getting moldy in the basement.

There's no book, no pill, no program. Here's how to let a little squeak of happiness into your life-- amplify your gratitude.  

Just notice what makes you smile, feel a little warmer, a little lighter, stop resisting whatever is happening in your life, if only just for a second. Gratitude puts a stop to the  ceaseless yearning and longing for something else. Gratitude allows us to take delight in whatever is right in front of us.  

When I started noticing the warmth of sunshine on a late winter day, I could, just in that one moment feel a spark of gratitude.  I'll admit it was slow going at first and required effort to find five things I could be grateful for each day. Day by day, it got easier to find gratitude in more and more things.

Research suggests that if you record at five things that you are grateful for each day, you'll feel happier. Just five, every day. Better than a pill more like magic, you'll feel happier!

One of my wise and busy friends, Lisa,--a mother of two, owner of her own business with a husband and two dogs (not sure how Andy will feel about being lumped in with the dogs, but he's friendly, loyal and trustworthy so hopefully he'll take it well) uses DayOne app to take a picture and record a one-word diary entry on her smart phone.  However you choose to record your gratitude, just do it.  

As a way to get you thinking about what makes you grateful here are 10 things in my life that make me feel grateful:

Notes from friends

Hanging laundry on the line

Wearing hats

Taking a walk

Serendipity

Bike Riding

Sweet corn in August

Summer nights on the porch

 

Days spent on the water

Gardens, especially creating beauty in my own garden

And one bonus gratitude

First Snow

Dear ones I'd love to hear what makes you grateful. As a special thank you for sharing I'll be giving away this unique one-of-a-kind painting I made to one lucky winner who shares what makes you grateful in the comments below. Deadline for submissions is next Tuesday.

Dear readers you fill me with gratitude.  Take good care of each other until next week.  And don't forget to leave a comment!

Jolly Cold

As my friend Louise says with her British stiff upper lip, it's jolly cold.

That happy turn of phrase--Jolly Cold-- about something most of us complain bitterly about, muttering curses as we walk penguin-like on sidewalks treacherous with ice, reminds me that there is no cure for hot or cold.

This little gnome, a gift from Mary Ann, sits on my kitchen windowsill guarding the thermometer. I check the temp every morning to prepare myself for what lies ahead.  But this morning when it read 8 degrees above zero and I thought, "not too bad," I forgot that we have an optimistic thermometer. When it gets this cold, the thing registers heat radiating out from the kitchen window and so is usually off by about 10 degrees, making it really 2 below zero!

As soon as I launched off the porch I could feel the needle pricks of cold on my face. I suffered not so much from the cold, but more from my own dissatisfaction with the cold. There was no threat of suffering frost bite, rather my misery was of the more mundane and everyday kind of wanting one thing, a brisk morning, and getting quite another, a prickly, bitterly cold morning.

Whether we're saints or sinners, we all know the pain of the unexpected.  Sure some days it's all summer, ice cream and lotto winnings.

By the way, I didn't win the big lottery drawing this week, did you?

But life deals us loss as well as gain.  Which I know in my head, but my heart has trouble when the roulette wheel spins to "loser".  I take it so personally when the universe conspires against me, frosting my life with frozen fingers, dead car batteries, and frozen pipes. It's so easy to feel justified in being annoyed with everything when the days are dark and blue.

But when I lighten up taking myself and my preferences less seriously,

I notice how beautiful the frost on the trees looks in the sunshine.

The purples and blues on the creek near dusk are stunning.

The rose bushes tinged with frost.

The neighbor, Annie's crab apple looking winter festive. It all reminds me to take the losses less personally.

Neither I nor the Universe are fixed.  Tomorrow holds out new possibilities for all of us, heck no need to wait until tomorrow, I could get over myself right now, warming my numb fingers with warm breath and enjoying the beauty all around me.  Winter lasts such a short time.

I don't have to give so much consideration to my own likes and dislikes.  I could just let the roulette wheel of life spin, and then spin again.

To ward off that winter chill I recommend a good dose of Hoppin' John, corn bread, wilted spinach and a lovely glass of wine.

Here's the recipe for Hoppin' John:

15 oz. black-eyed peas (frozen are best, but canned will do)
4 slices bacon
One small onion
1 C of diced ham
1 tsp mustard
1 C cooked rice
1/4 C of red wine, sherry or vegetable cooking stock (chose just one)
Salt and pepper to taste

Fry bacon in large cast iron skillet (any skillet will do, but I like my cast iron skillet for the ease of clean-up). Set bacon aside.  Dice onion and saute in bacon grease.  Pour off excess grease, leaving enough to coat bottom of skillet. Add black-eyed peas to onions and cook till warm, add ham and rice, cook till warm, add 1/4 cup of liquid of your choice. Crumble bacon and add to top of each dish.  Serves 4

Wilted Spinach

One bag of fresh spinach
1/4 cup butter
salt and pepper to taste

Wash spinach in colander and pat dry with paper towel.  Melt 1/4 cup butter in heavy skillet on medium heat, put as much spinach as will fit into skillet, place lid on top, wait one minute, if you couldn't fit all of the bag of spinach in, put rest in now, place lid on top.  Wait two minutes, salt and pepper.  Serves 2.

Winter is made for warm dishes, good books, great friends, and walks in the frosty air.  Summer will be here before we know it!

Take care of each other until next week.....xxoo

Snow!

And so it begins!



The first snow.



















Yesterday and this morning Prince Charming and I were in a race with a snow deadline. There was a fountain to drain, hoses to bring in, gutters to clean, snow markers to place so that the crew that shovels the driveway can still see the outline. I L-O-V-E snow.  Prince Charming has his reservations.

It's been such a beautiful fall that we got lulled into a false sense of what winter could be like.

I was up on a ladder cleaning the last gutter when a little puff of wind caught my attention.  Suddenly the air was alive with flurries.

Prince Charming cleans out the fountain.

Snow at noon:

Porch Fern

Grasses in front of lollipop blue spruce

Juniper Jump-ups

Front porch pumpkins

Snow at 4 p.m.

Porch Fern

Roses

Juniper Jump-ups

7 inches of snow at 8 p.m.

Front Porch pumpkins

Remember what they looked like at noon?

It's still snowing. Wonder what tomorrow will bring?

We had theater tickets tonight, but after slip sliding around at 4, decided 

to stay here instead.